In a summer where our movies have depth and actually character development where is movie where you can sit back, shut off your brain, and enjoy. The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor is that movie. Unlike the previous Mummy movies this one has considerably less mummies in it or considerably more, depending how loose your definition of a 'mummy' is. (but apparently it fits the Webster dictionary definition, go figure). The Mummy is now a Chinese emperor known as the Dragon Emperor, but they never explain why... Like the previous Mummy's you have a series of locations that must be traveled to, desert, museum, location that finds a Paradise-like location, paradise-like location, and battlefield (it really does work like that).
New editions to this installment:
Remember in Mummy Returns that little annoying kid that was Brendan Fraser's son? No? well maybe you should go check those out before you watch this one, seriously, c'mon! Anyway that kid is in this one but now he is a big annoying adult-type person. He is sorta kinda co-staring with Fraser, but he also gets involved in the tack-on love story that feels just intrusive (why do they always need a love story?) Sadly, Rachel Weisz is not in this one she dropped out to they replaced her with Maria Bello, who was in (lemme look real quick) oh! Thank you for smoking, but she just doesn't do as well, but whatever. Jet Li is the Mummy of the title int his one and does a decent job considering that he doesn't need to do much besides look menacing and speak Chinese.
Now before i give you the review on the movie i wanna go Mummy v. Mummy, Imohtep v. Han in i fight to the finish!
Round one: Powers.
Imohtep: Even before he becomes 'complete' he is immune to all forms of damage, he may be slowed down, but not stopped, he can turn into a sand storm to transport himself and others. Imhotep ads the ability to control the weather and move objects with his mind. He has also displayed that he can control a large group of people. he also controlled plagues so...yeah
Han: He can control fire, water, metal, earth and sand. (i think those are right). he has the same damage deal as Imhotep, but is trapped as a terracotta warrior until he takes a bath in the waters of eternal life. after he gets all immortal he can transform into a dragon/beast/human.
Winner: Imhotep
Round two: Allies
Imhotep: since he can mind control most people so they his allies tend to be anyone, but for the most part he is on his own.
Han: He has a whole army of terracotta warriors that are like zombies in how they jut keep coming.
Winner: Han
Final round: Defeat (warning spoilers)
Imhotep: He can only be defeated buy reading from the book of the dead but other than not much killing this one.
Han: Apparently he can control the elements, turn into a dragon/beast, but in hand-to-hand combat he gets the sh*t kicked out of him by Fraser.
Winner Imhotep.
Grand Winner, Imhotep, he is just far more bad ass.
So where does this movie rate on my parabolic Movie scale? it gets a 2.5 which is decent, the dialoge is kinda stale and that stupid love story really drags things down. if your going in this one expecting high quality entertainment you are dead wrong (was that an accidental pun?). Turn off your brain and enjoy special effects and explosions, (things get blowed up real good!)
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1 comment:
Marty, I really enjoy your parabola scale (except that it makes you sound really smart, and I'm just not used to that). But seriously, it makes perfect sense to me! I mean, honestly, have you SEEN League of Extraordinary Gentlemen? That's a 2.0 easy! I was really worried about seeing Mummy 3, because of how much I love 1 and hate 2. But now you've put it all into perspective for me. Thanks! I look forward to reading more movie reviews from you in the future!
Love, Mollie.
PS: Are you going to review Indy 4 or are we just going to pretend like it doesn't exist?
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