Max Payne: More Appropriately Named Than Snakes on a Plane

Hello everyone! Pandachi here! Since someone almost never updates this blog, and since I'm watching a movie almost every week anyway it was decided (by me) that I should contribute. So here's my review of Max Payne!

WHO: Mark Wahlberg, Mila Kunis, Beau Bridges, Ludacris

WHAT: Wahlberg is Max Payne a cop whose wife and child were killed three years ago. Now he will stop at nothing to find the people responsible and kill them. He is joined in his quest by an assassin (Kunis) who's sister was murdered at the beginning of the movie (this is a spoiler so minor that it's not important) and now she will stop at nothing to find the people responsible, etc. Meanwhile an Internal Affairs officer (Ludacris) tries to discover if Max is responsible for a series of murders and the old cop partner of Max's father (Bridges) who is now the head of security for a pharmaceutical company tries to convince Max that he's should give up the search.

WHY?!: This is what I was asking myself for most of this movie. Why does Mark Wahlberg have one facial expression? And for that matter, why does his acting make it seem like they painted a log with a face and dragged it from scene to scene? Why does Mila Kunis have second billing if she has ten minutes of screen time, tops? Why am I bothering to sit through this whole movie if I had everything figured out in the first fifteen minutes? Why is Nelly Furtado suddenly in this movie? Is that really Chris O'Donnell?? OK, that last one wasn't a "why" question, but I was wondering it anyway.

Anything Good?: They lighted well, and it was nice seeing Mila Kunis play against type, even if she and her character were supremely under utilized.

RATING: A solid 3

Other Thoughts: In case there is anyone out there that actually wants to see this movie, I won't spoil it. But let me just tell you that if you are expecting something Constantine-esque after seeing the trailers, you will be sorely disappointed. Also, I wanted to say a big "Sorry!" to my friend Krystal who graciously went to the movie with me. So, sorry Krystal. With the $12.50 we lost we could have gotten some Chipotle or something. Next time, okay?

Official Site
IMDb entry