Guest review! Quantum of Solace

“Don’t worry,” I said to the young woman who I had just made acquaintances hours before, “Bond movies hardly ever tie in to the previous film.” This was of course said to help coax her to go out to see a midnight showing of Quantum of Solace with a couple people I met a few weeks back. Of course, that usual truth of the Bond series was shattered within the first ten minutes of the film. I won’t give away any details, but yes; Quantum of Solace’s plot is heavily mired in the fact that VESPER IS BLOODY DEAD GET OVER IT BOND *ahem* excuse me. So yes, Bond is back, and this time, he’s back with a vengeance.

So the basics of the film are as follows: Bond needs to figure out who part of the conspirators that lead to Vesper’s death. This shady group apparently has eyes and ears everywhere and is out for the usual things; money, world domination, etc. Except this time, instead of threatening the world with giant lasers or hijacking nukes, they’re taking over the world with their shady group politics, coups, and resource control. Dominic Greene, CEO of Greene Planet, a supposed eco friendly conservationist group that is a front for more insidious dealings, is our main villain. He is apparently a high ranking member of… Bloody hell I’m sick of calling it ‘shady group’. Let’s just call it SPECTRE (because we all know that’s exactly where this is going. Queue Ernst Stavro Blofeld and be done with it already).

So, now for the nitty gritty; Greene’s part of SPECTRE and Bond is trying to catch him and his conspirators in the act. Bond does have a few clever tricks up his sleeve, seeing as how he doesn’t ever seem to be as well equipped as he once was. Our current incarnation of Bond is very quick on his feet when it comes to uncovering these plots. He doesn’t really ever have a plan nowadays. He relies mostly on his quick wits and his enemies idiocies, which works for the tones of these films. Bond’s spying is very fast paced and tense thanks to these measures, since in order to listen in on SPECTRE’s conversation Bond can no longer pull out his handy-dandy Q Labs listening device implanted in his shoe.

Here’s a rundown of the support characters. Felix Leiter returns (as he does in at least half of the bond films), which is a welcome reprieve from that idiotic American stereotype goody goody Jack Wade (who’s portrayer, Joe Don Baker coincidently played the villain Brad Whitaker two Bond films before Golden Eye… way to go casting department). Felix actually gets down and dirty in the field this time, slumming it up in Bolivia with his corrupt senior agent whose name I forgot to bother to care about because in all honesty generic corrupt American agents are a dime a dozen these days. Bond’s lady friend this time around is Camille Montes, a lovely half Russian half Bolivian whose father was killed by one of the minor villains in the rouges gallery that appears in this film. She’s a very feisty young woman who has her own agenda and reasons for helping Bond, unlike most Bond girls who just help Bond out because he’s hot. Judy Dench is back as M, and for some reason or another she tends to visit the field more often than the head of a super secret Government organization should. Rounding out the cast is generic female agent who Bond sleeps with whose cover name happens to be the highly original ‘Strawberry Fields,’ Greene’s balding sidekick who wears a bad toupee, and the surprising return of ex-MI6 agent René Mathis to the field.

If there’s one thing that bothers me about this film, it’s all the great things that it’s missing. Where were the charming one liners? Where was bond’s witty rapport with the main villain of the film? What happened to Bond’s classy demeanor? And where is bloody Q, and his labs with all of their tomfoolery and gadgetry? So much of what made the classic films ‘classic’ is missing in this adaptation. Bond has been turned from gentleman adventurer to a rough-and-tumble savant with a short fuse, mostly for the amusement of our ADD riddled generation. While these new bond films have actually been quite good for action flicks, they are missing the certain je ne sais quoi that truly makes a Bond film the class act staple it’s been for over 40 years.
While Quantum of Solace is visually stunning, fast paced, and has a compelling and quite engaging storyline, it’s missing all of the charming wit and over the top acts of villainy, (not to mention exploding cars. If a car goes over a cliff in a Bond movie, it’s supposed to explode like the doors were made out of nitro glycerin damn it!), that have made Bond films so great over the years. At least we got a few good one liners out of Casino Royale.

That said, I give the movie an 7.5

Don’t get me wrong, it’s a solid film, but it just doesn’t have what it takes in terms of memorable moments and witty dialogue to be as highly esteemed as its predecessors. I guess the only thing left to do now is make that Martini recipe they mentioned in the film… Three measures of gin, one of vodka, half a measure of Kina Lillet. Shake it very well until it's ice-cold, and then add a large thin slice of lemon peel. What was it called again?
…
DAMN YOU VESPER!!!!
-Lawther